If they can do so, a good friend will not hesitate to cover the cost of beverages or lunch. However, there is a narrow line between helping a buddy out through difficult circumstances and being taken advantage of outright. “Broke fishing” is the term used to describe this kind of fishing.
Broke fishing is defined as “the act of portraying oneself as in need of financial assistance when one is not really in need of assistance.” There are typically two types of persons that breakfish: opportunistic and those who aren’t.
- These individuals have become so adept at budgeting that they allow their pals, who are less adept at managing money, at paying their expenses.
- Those careless with it depend on their friends to bail them out when it comes to money.
Do any of these words ring a bell? Listed below are some tips on avoiding being taken advantage of by your freeloading buddies.
- 1 Fixed Boundaries
- 2 Try to understand them.
- 3 Speak it out
- 4 Do not offer
- 5 Why ‘Brokefishing’ Is The greatest Friendship Killer
- 6 What is broke fishing?
- 7 How do you prevent getting brokefished?
- 8 Do not present
Friends, housemates, and family members should never make you feel as though you are responsible for covering their living expenses. It is critical to establish limits with this someone, no matter how close you are to them.
Try to understand them.
Perhaps they were raised in a household where financial difficulties persisted and continued to influence them, or perhaps they assume that others in their immediate vicinity are more financially secure. The majority of brokefishers, on the other hand, make enough money to support themselves and their families.
Speak it out
Money conversations may be difficult, so use caution when expressing your opinions. If they care about you, they should, on the other hand, be willing to listen to what you have to say.
Do not offer
We are well aware that this is easier said than done. Keep your eyes out for broken fish bait, and don’t feel obligated to explain why you’re not paying up.
You are covering others’ expenses might indicate that you are a people-pleaser, and your “friend” could be taking advantage of you due to your behavior.
Why ‘Brokefishing’ Is The greatest Friendship Killer
Money, no matter how much or how little you have, is a difficult topic to broach among a group of friends. It is especially true if it is recognized that there are discrepancies between incomes and costs among groups.
Our financial strengths and weaknesses vary, as do our financial values. However, we can all relate to having a friend or partner, family member, coworker, or date who constantly seems short on cash at the most inconvenient times.
While we all come from various financial backgrounds, there may be a lot of pressure to “keep up with friends” when you don’t earn as much money as your peers.
But what happens when you realize that your tight pals with their purse strings aren’t quite as broke as they seem and that they continue to rely on their friends to foot the tab frequently? Brokefishing is a term we like to describe this kind of fishing.
What is broke fishing?
Brokefishing is the act of portraying oneself as in need of financial assistance when one is not in fact in need of assistance.
When it comes to brokefishing, there are typically two types of people: those who are a bit too good at budgeting to the point where they depend on their friends who aren’t great with money to bail them out, and those who are irresponsible with money yet rely on their friends to bail them out.
If you’re in a position to assist our pals or be a bit generous on a good night out, that’s acceptable, as long as you’re not obligated to do so.
A significant difference exists between lending them money during difficult times and shouting a coffee here and then and paying the bill for their leisure in a manner that serves to put you in a worse position.
How do you prevent getting brokefished?
First and foremost, realize that your money is equally as precious as theirs; even if you aren’t interested in having much of it, the principle of the issue remains the same. As a result, if they’re squeaking by on the backs of others to achieve their financial objectives, they’re just not good friends.
The situation becomes more complicated when roommates, long-time friends, and family members. Still, for the most part, no one can reasonably expect you to yell at them in the majority of cases. Also, if they had to bring you back to your room that evening.
Brokefishing is a two-way street, which means that it is a problem on both their and your end of the line.
A true friend should never make you feel as though you have to bear the financial burden of their existence; there is a distinction between seeking solace and just being manipulative with your emotions.
Is it possible you’re creating the appearance that you have money to burn by yelling at everyone more than you should? Or even worse, are you encouraging people’s unhealthy behaviors by failing to establish boundaries?
Understand where they’re arriving from
Certain individuals are born with an intrinsic feeling of scarcity that manifests itself in the false belief that everyone else around them is much more financially secure.
Even if this is the truth, and they are much worse off than those closest to them, they should not be forced to depend on friends. They may not be broke fishing, but they should not be forced to rely on friends.
If someone can legitimately afford to go out to dinners and pub nights every weekend, it should never be expected that someone else would cover for them to keep their current lifestyle.
To be sure, we should all be putting money aside to prepare for the future, and some individuals may feel (understandably) differently about their money if they don’t have family or assets to fall back on in the event of a financial emergency.
There are methods to attempt to sympathize without having to delve into your pockets. Feelings of scarcity may be triggered by childhood experiences or by growing up in a household with adults who have a difficult relationship with money.
Although it may be tempting to pay your friend’s or partner’s or family member’s bills if they have nearly the same expenses, income, and access as you, it may be worth it to refuse to do so if only to show them that they are not as screwed as they believe they are.
Talk it out
As previously said, money may be a difficult subject to broach in a conversation. However, if your brokefisher is concerned about you, they should be ready to listen to how you’re feeling.
While initiating the discussion, avoid accusing them of willfully defrauding their friends and making the assumption that you are well aware of their financial status.
All you can do is be upfront about your desire to be more frugal with your money, which includes refraining from yelling between rounds of drinks now and again.
Do not present
It’s much easier said than done, so do it. You are under no obligation to explain why you refuse to pay for them.
It’s just a question of choosing not to do anything. In addition, if your buddy expresses regret that they would have stayed for another drink if they didn’t have to pay, we recommend that you shrug it off and advise that the evening come to a close before the next round of drinks is served.
Consider digging a little further into the reasons why you’re covering charges. It all comes down to whether or not you have a desire to satisfy others. You’re doing yourself, your friends, and your future self a great disservice by trying to be nice for the sake of trying to be kind.
You could even find yourself falling farther and further behind when all of your brokefishers hit significant financial milestones of their own.
The topic of how to quit paying for someone can be less important than the question of whether or not this person merits your friendship.
Determine whether or not you appreciate having this someone in your life. You should make it a point to preserve a good relationship if this is the case. And to do this, you must establish limits, so that little disagreements do not become the spark for any bitterness or breakups.
We all have flaws in our relationships with friends and lovers, but if you believe you are being taken advantage of, this is not something to brush off.
You have earned everything you have worked so hard for. While it is crucial to be there for friends and family members and do your fair share, no one should anticipate financial assistance, particularly if you are aware that you are in a similar financial circumstance.